3. HOW DO YOU SPEAK TO YOURSELF?
Our words are powerful. How we speak to ourselves determines the type of language we deem appropriate when talking to or about others. I’ve often found in my own life when I start to gossip or speak negatively about others its a red flag that my internal world is not in a great state. My capacity to speak negatively about others is a direct reflection of my capacity to speak negatively to myself.
I think we are all familiar with he negative spiralling that can take place in the mind. The short and sharp internal dialogue that says we are not good enough, too short, too tall, too plump, too small. We fixate on everything that’s wrong with us, and with that focus — its impossible not to notice everything wrong with everyone else too. Not only does this impact the relationship we have internally, but it has ripple effects in all of our relationships.
When we go looking for what’s wrong in ourselves or those we love — we will always find answers. The thing is, the same is true for when we go looking for what’s right.
The exercise I want to share with you today is more of a challenge. This week I want to invite you to notice what’s right. In yourself and those around you. Trying to force ourselves out of negative self dialogue create mental strain and frustration. The only thing worse than thinking badly about ourselves is trying to force our thoughts to behave in a certain way.
Here is a simple practice that I invite you to try:
Whenever you notice your thoughts zoning in on something negative about yourself or someone else pause.
Take a deep breath.
Don’t punish yourself for having the thought, notice it with love and let it pass
Choose to intentionally focus on something you love about yourself or this other person
It doesn’t have to be something big — just something small that you genuinely do like (being disingenuous here doesn’t help anyone! Your brain knows when you are lying)
If you can, try find a few more things
Release the thoughts and move forward to the next task at hand.
We aren’t trying to forcefully change our negative dialogue, but rather we are practising redirecting our focus on thoughts that feel good and empowering. Try it for one week and see how you feel.