value clarity exercise
It’s impossible to live according to our values if we don't know what they are. A lot of the time the values we currently hold are just a reflection of the most common amongst our parental figures and friends. Which is not wrong by any means, but it just leaves room for the dissatisfaction of living according to values that may not inherently reflect our own inner guidebook.
So what are values? Values can be defined by the core principles we live by. They are standards that we set for ourselves and the world around us on what is right, wrong and fair. “They determine what you seek out and what you avoid, what you enjoy and what you find draining.” -- Tony Robbins
Our values influence how we behave and define what our needs are to feel fulfilled and content. What we feel like is most important to us in life -- is a value. Whatever we feel like is missing most -- is also a value. I think that's something we can all relate to -- this inner knowing that something is missing, but not necessarily being able to clearly define what. This indicates a lack of value clarity. (Something I wish I had known much earlier in life).
Living in alignment with our values means we don’t get caught in chasing things for how they might make us feel in the future. It takes the pressure off some future achievement to make us feel good, because our day to day lives feel fulfilling and content. It doesn’t mean we don’t still want to achieve, expand and set goals -- but rather it makes the journey of those goals equally as important as the destination. (Goodbye disillusionment!)
This is single handedly the most important tool I’ve used to increase my daily peace of mind and contentment. I’m so grateful for this platform to be able to share the following simple, yet -- life changing exercise with you below.
VALUE CLARITY EXERCISE:
Write a list exploring the questions below:
What things in life bring you the most satisfaction? What would you spend your time doing, if you were retired or financially free? What is really important to you to do daily? What makes you feel your best?
For example:
Self improvement, constantly learning and growing
Moving my body and feeling physically strong
Great relationships, feeling loved and loving others
Fulfilling work that makes a positive impact on the world
Laughing with friends
Writing regularly
Meditation and evening walks
Travel and exploration
A safe home base, somewhere that feels like an oasis
The ability to be my own boss and set my own schedule
Now -- read through the following values. Read through your list and pick a value that most closely captures the core of what you’ve written. You are welcome to attribute another value to your list, these are just suggestions.
FREEDOM / SELF IMPROVEMENT / SPONTANEITY / RELATIONSHIPS / SECURITY / LEGACY / SELF CARE / PHYSICAL HEALTH / CONTRIBUTION / CREATIVITY / CONSISTENCY / ENVIRONMENT / EXPLORATION / SAFETY / INDEPENDENCE / HONESTY / PLAY
For example:
Self improvement, constantly learning and growing SELF IMPROVEMENT
Moving my body and feeling physically strong PHYSICAL HEALTH
Great relationships, feeling loved and loving others RELATIONSHIPS
Fulfilling work that makes a positive impact on the world LEGACY / CONTRIBUTION
Laughing with friends PLAY / RELATIONSHIPS
Writing regularly CREATIVITY
Meditation and evening walks SELF IMPROVEMENT
Travel and exploration FREEDOM
A safe home base, somewhere that feels like an oasis ENVIRONMENT
The ability to be my own boss and set my own schedule FREEDOM
Take a look over your list and note which, if any, of the values showed up more than once. Write a new list of values, ordering them from 1 (being the most important and authentic to you) to 6.
For Example:
FREEDOM
RELATIONSHIPS / PLAY
SELF IMPROVEMENT
CONTRIBUTION
ENVIRONMENT
The more how we spend our time reflects our own unique set of values, the happier and more at peace we feel in daily life. If you’ve noticed through this exercise that how you spend your time does not reflect the values now present in front of you -- this is the perfect opportunity to recalibrate. Build in a few things to your schedule this week that better reflect your innate values. If you value physical health, but that's not reflected in how you spend your time, it's very natural to feel a sense of disharmony with yourself.
We’ll explore authentic scheduling in more depth in the next lesson.