Are you trying to rush answers?
It’s scary to walk a path we’re not sure leads anywhere. But that’s what life asks of us. To trust that we’re going to be ok walking in the dark. The reward is living a life we love, doing work we love, with people we love. The choice is yours.
In the past, I felt an enormous pressure to have my whole life figured out. To find work that lights me up, to find a meaningful purpose, to have great relationships. I felt like everyone around me seemed to know what they were doing and I was meandering through my life, picking up and putting down things that just didn’t feel quite right. I even got stuck sticking things out that I didn’t enjoy anymore just for the sake of not looking flakey in other eyes.
I had this idea that there was one thing for everyone. Which meant that my purpose and passion in life was just hiding under a rock that I hadn’t yet turned. The relentless search for this specific thing began to rule my life. If I couldn’t find it, it meant that my life didn’t have true meaning. So the search continued, but each time I was a little more faint of heart after finding nothing that felt quite right turn after turn.
The value I placed on this perfectly aligned passion I was trying to find, prevented me from appreciating the journey along the way. The enjoyment of trying things, just for the sake of it. I was so focused on what I was trying to find, that I ended up feeling like right now I wasn’t where I wanted to be, but sometime soon I’d arrive, once I had it all figured out.
Except none of us ever have it all figured out.
Perhaps that never should have been the goal.
Each experience informs us of the next best step to take. Our passions are supposed to change and adapt as we grow and learn new things. What may be right for you now, may not be right for you in a year from now — but each stage serves its purpose.
It dawned on me that if I kept feeling like I didn’t have it figured out now but I would at some point, the more I moved forward, the further away that some point would be. I saw the future me (a passionate, successful person) just a few steps ahead of me at all times.
Looking back now, I can see that the pressure to have things ‘figured out’ led to me rushing the answers. I started trying on other people's lives and was left wondering why they didn’t fit. Eventually, as I became clearer on what didn’t work, I also started stumbling across what did. Little clues of joy and curiosity leading the way.
Each time I trusted my curiosity and picked up a skill that didn’t necessarily show a clear path forward, I started to create my own life.
Over time, each of the skills I was acquiring began to mesh together in unique ways and make more sense. Slowly, I had the exact tools necessary to fulfill unique work opportunities that seemed almost magically tailored for me. Now as I look back, I can appreciate that I couldn’t have mapped it all out from the beginning. Each skill was built on the next and informed by different chapters of my life and curiosity unfolding.
If you are waiting for the perfect circumstances to feel good about your life, you may be waiting a long, long time. We can not bypass the journey of learning as we go. The key is trusting your intuition and exploring things that may not make sense in the scheme of your life just yet.
It’s overwhelmingly tempting to walk a path when we know the destination - even if it’s an unsatisfying one. The unfamiliar and unknown is a road less traveled. Our only sense of direction is guided by how we feel, something we’ve been taught to question and out-logic.
The truth is, we are inevitably going to face doubt from ourselves & perhaps from the world no matter what we do. So the question becomes: Will you allow doubt to dictate the quality of your life?
We are all learning and adapting day by day. It’s natural to feel the pressure to figure things out, even if you don’t have all the answers. But the more we become comfortable with not having the answers, the less the pressure we feel from the world on our shoulders. You need not answer to anyone but yourself.
Don’t rush the process of becoming who you are for the sake of clinging to the identity of someone that has it ‘figured out’. Let yourself trust your intuitive curiosity that leads you down different paths. It may not make sense to others, or even yourself — but it will all come together in time. With each experience you will gain clarity on what it is you like and what it is that you do not. Life will reveal itself in due time — all you need to do is to trust yourself, trust your curiosity and be here with it.
Reminders for when we are rushing answers:
Do the best with what you have now. (The more we do the best with what we already have in this moment, the more we can expect from the next)
Trust your curiosity and where it leads you. (You don’t have to make sense of everything right away, it will make sense in time)
There is no better ‘there’ than ‘here’. (Try and tap into the feeling you're seeking from figuring this out. What would it feel like to have the answers? See if you can cultivate that feeling right now)
Let things unfold naturally. (You’ll know what to do when the time is right, there's no rush to figure it out right away)
If you feel like you can’t figure something out -- it's likely because you do not have enough information right now. Spending all of your energy thinking without sufficient information leads to mental stress + anxiety. Take a moment to practice deep breathing. Inhale through your nose for 4, exhale out of an open mouth for 8.
Affirm: I have all the answers I seek for the present moment. I allow each experience to inform me of the next best step to take.